Sunday 14 December 2014

Here's What You Could Have Won

ITV really has gone downhill. Bully's Special Prize on Bullseye used to be a speedboat, not Jim Bowen's used car.

Where was almost anybody supposed to keep a speedboat, even while merely trying to sell it?

There was no Postmodern irony in those days. The speedboat classes did not watch an ITV game show based on darts and presented by a broad Lancastrian stand-up comedian from the workingmen's club circuit, even if he was a former Deputy Head.

But now, the best that you can hope to win is Simon Cowell's old banger. Make your own joke.

Still, I am almost looking forward to this evening's X Factor Final: Part II, featuring One Direction "with one of the Rolling Stones".

Welcome to the stag night from hell.

The bride's grandfather has been invited along in order to be nice. He is to be joined by the groom's five nephews who have never before had a proper drink or seen a naked woman.

2 comments:

  1. You have obviously had a proper drink tonight, your posts are on fire. You deserve for there to be a naked woman involved and all.

    You are like Rod Liddle, only nice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How dare you talk about the next Editor of The Guardian like that.

      I know, imagine. A state-educated member of the Labour Party as the Editor of The Guardian. I mean, the very idea!

      But your comment put me in mind of Aldi's "Like brands, only cheaper." I am the Aldi to his Liddle.

      Boom, Boom. I'm here all week.

      Now, on topic, please.

      Delete