Monday 14 May 2007

Britain: Europe's Real Banana Republic

Children are never kidnapped in Britain, as they are in Portugal. Are they? All right, then, they are always speedily returned, safe and well, to their parents. Aren't they?

When are we going to get over the demented notion that everywhere on the Continent is a banana republic, even Germany with her police who police and her schools that teach, even France with her superb rail network, even ... well, the list goes on, and on, and on?

Once we do, then we might no longer produce persons such as the lady engaged to a Briton recently extradited to Greece to stand trial for attempted murder. Incandescent at the audacity of Johnny Foreigner, she has bewailed that "They are supposed to be under European law now [what does that have to do with anything in this case?], but they think that they can still make laws for themselves!" Imagine!

And we might even condescend to enter a serious piece of popular music with even an outside chance of winning the Eurovision Song Contest, rather than moaning that other countries "take it [i.e., take themselves] seriously".

Of course, there is one banana republic in Europe. It is the land of John "Banana" Yates, bent and yellow, who refused to interview Tony Blair under caution so as to preclude a Prime Ministerial resignation even more premature than has proved necessary in any case, and who is refusing to charge people who have been caught red-handed, and who are probably going to plead guilty anyway, until after that resignation and the subsequent "handover" have taken place. I defy anyone to find anywhere on the Continent remotely as corrupt as that.

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